3.5 years ago...my first time at a University
I was afraid to even step foot on this campus...I researched this school my second time in community college, my first time in high school. I didn't believe I would even make it here, let alone, be given permission to come here from my parents. 4 years ago, I took the Discover Western tour here, by MYSELF. I visited the school by MYSELF. I lied to my parents that I was coming here with a friend and rode the Amtrak by MYSELF....
I hated it here for the few first years. Although I was in organizations and very involved on campus, I didn't feel like this was completely my home. I thought the town was so boring. I didn't fit in, and I didn't have true friends. And the 'true friends' I thought I had weren't who I thought they were to be. I learned quickly, this was going to be tough. But surely, I wasn't a quitter...
2 years ago...
I started to finally like it here...I would spend weekends in the Square, getting coffee...going to the Vitamin Lady Store, Bargain Box, and random shops I found in the Macomb Square. I felt lonely at first but these weekend trips made me feel comfortable being alone. I started to love the square, but I still didn't feel at home I felt like I didn't fit in with the towns people. Towards to the end of my junior year, I started meeting more new people..through my ceramics class...and through the rec center classes I was taking. I got closer with these new friends and they have stuck with me till this day. I never thought I would have friends to rely on, like backbones. I never had that before.
3 weeks till Graduation...
December 15th is my graduation. A month ago I was crying, wanting to ball my eyes out that I was leaving from here. I don't know why but I know it's not the typical feeling that most of the graduating seniors are having right now. Most of my friends are ecstatic to leave...but me, no, no I am DEFINITEly not ready to leave.
I LOVE this town. I love everything about it. The CAMPUS panorama itself, was what drew me to this school and till this day I love the scenery. The little cute shops in the SQUARE are my favorite. My knitting group I go to every Wednesday in the Square(Hooked on U)...I have met a few of the nicest people there. My psychology professors who I deeply admire. I really feel like they have helped me keep going day in and day out through all the strenous work we go through in the department. They have helped me with recommendations for grad school and even supported my efforts for Study Abroad. I can't tell you one thing I won't miss about this place.
I use to think this college was horrible, a shit hole actually, it was behind on everything, academics, the little "city" of Macomb was hardly a city, but recently actually JUST this semester, I learned that it's completely the opposite. Macomb...WIU...means SO much to me. I grew up here. I made mistakes...I LEARNED from them. I took RISKS...I grew up....I flew across the whole world...to ANOTHER country....by MYSELF...something I would have NEVER done before...
The old me...would never have taken a risk as big as traveling across seas, and taking weekend trips ALONE..but I DID. The old, timid Afsha would not have said "hey, today I'm going to be Treasurer or even President of an organization", but I DID. The old me wouldn't have spoke out in Take Back the Night as a survivor...but I DID. All of these points of my life have completely defined me as a different person than I was just yesterday, or just last year, or more so, 4 years ago.
They have made me who I am today...they have made me this strong, goal achieving, never-stopping, outgoing, crazy, happy, goofy, dedicated, intelligent Afsha. I'm so proud of myself...and so happy and grateful for my opportunity here.
In high school I received bad grades. Luckily, in college with the help of great mentors, I finally learned to believe in myself and got on the Deans list. I still to this day...cannot believe this is all real.
I'm graduating soon and CANNOT believe it. Is this REALLY happening? Am I, REALLY going to walk across that stage and get a BACHELORS Degree? Who would of thought...honestly.
But here I am, still worried, stressed, trying to figure out my life after college, what I want to do after college, where I want to live. I finally took the first step though...which is ACCEPTANCE, accepting that its going to happen. I even opened up a graduate school application and started on it. I'm so nervous and anxious I wont get in, but I'm still trying and I think that's all that matters. I'm applying for jobs too, I'm getting recommendations, I'm doing all that it takes to get there, and thats all that matters...TRYING.
A month ago, I was too scared to even apply for grad schools, saying "what if I don't get in", and then I realized, why am I putting a crutch on my own self? Why not take the advice I give to everyone else and take the risk(s). So I'm doing it....and I'm not stopping and I'm going to sit back afterwards, and let God do his magic...and I will Insha'allah, end up where I am meant to be...and that to me is a great feeling.
Wish me good luck on this crazy-wild journey!
